Commentary 2: Dating

I can count the number of times I recognized being hit on/talked up anywhere on my hands. I say “recognized” because some of my friends say I am oblivious to being talked up and need to take notice more often. Nevertheless, I don’t blame other people, because I can probably count the number of times I have hit on/talked up anyone on my hands and feet as well. And I realize it’s a two-way street. I just feel that having absolutely no reliable gaydar that I prefer to not make a fool of myself. Is it a fear of rejection? Perhaps. Although I DO have the balls to go talk to people on a friendly, neighborly basis, I DO NOT have the balls talk with any other motivations being obvious to them.

I believe that some of the time, people are a bit presumptuous when they hit on people, a bit rude even. I have been told I am intimidating. How I can be intimidating and shy and extroverted at the same time, I’ll have to analyze deeper.

Yes, my own fault, I realize. I am extroverted enough to approach and talk with people, be friendly, interested, and engaging. Deep down, I may want to do more, I may be planning the outfits for our adopted children and trying to decide if we’ll vacation in the mountains or the beach, but I will never make that known. Is there such thing as a shy extrovert? I would like to blame being born on the Leo-Virgo cusp, with my extroverted Leo being dampened by my humble and demure Virgo.

So what did I do to solve this dilemma?

Well, I am an “academic” so my first solution was to try ballroom dancing, salsa to be specific. Although they let me come to classes three times a week instead of once (which you pay for) because all the women wanted to dance with someone as tall as me and the instructors shorter Latino friends were not cutting it (although they were better dancers).

Why didn’t this class work to solve my problems?

1) I never had trouble talking with females. And the class was mostly females.
2) There are very few gay clubs in the DC/Metro area that even have salsa music.
3) Very few of my friends know how to salsa, and although I do NOT mind going to karaoke alone, I DO mind going dancing alone.